worry

I spend so much time worrying about what will be, that I forget to actually enjoy what is.

You know I always catch myself daydreaming, thinking about every possible way my future could play out. And often times its not in a cutesy, little fantasizing about the future kinda way, but rather in the obsess over whether it all works out and play out every possible “what if”, kinda way. 

Like i get so sad missing home, hoping one day ill get to go back. Oh one day this, one day that. Ummmmm hello!! You are living out a one day situation right now, and all you can think about is the next thing. You daydreamt about the life you are currently living just a few years ago. And now you are here. Appreciate it. Stop thinking about the next best thing. The next upgrade, the next chapter, the next new and shiny and exciting milestone. You will never ever be satisfied. It will never feel like enough. You need to learn to be content. I’m not saying you must just accept everything as it is, or that you shouldn’t be driven to get or do better. All i’m trying to say is that you also need to be able to actually live in the here and the now. Life could be over tomorrow. So stop obsessing over what you are going to do in 3 years time and just chill out and have fun while you still can. When the next thing comes, it comes. You will handle it. There’s no point in stressing over something that is out of your control, and soon enough it won't matter anyway. 

Can you tell ive been very stressed lately. And when i’m stressed i spiral a bit. And soon enough its not even about the upcoming test, but rather every life decision ever and the walls are closing in and tears are streaming and ….

You know how it goes.

So just take a deep breath. It will all be ok. Trust in God’s plan and just do the best you can with what you have right now.